


I Am Not Your Guardian Angel

by andrea_deer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, M/M, happens somewhere in season 5ish, old fic, reuploaded, talk about religion and angels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-30
Updated: 2009-10-30
Packaged: 2019-04-07 02:44:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14071194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrea_deer/pseuds/andrea_deer
Summary: If the Winchester brothers were living in the Dark Ages, Castiel would be able to tell them more. Not because they'd be more trusted, but because they'd be able to understand more.





	I Am Not Your Guardian Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted ages ago, precisely on 30th October 2009. I recently looked through my old fics and decided to post the ones I still like on AO3.

The Dark Ages were just that: dark. No angel walked the Earth to enlighten people with the warmth of his Grace. Humans missed it. They shouldn't be able to remember something that ended centuries ago, but apparently, they did. In some buried memory they recalled the closeness of God and His warriors and they craved it like you crave a sun after living in a dark basement. They looked up and prayed. They were humble. They crawled and begged. They tried to explain God and His kingdom, but even if instinctively they still remembered, they forgot too much. They misunderstood. They were only humans, after all.

After that humans started to move further and further away from Heaven. Every new era brought less and less true facts about God. Finally they seemed to stop caring about getting it right.

If the Winchester brothers were living in the Dark Ages, Castiel would be able to tell them more. Not because they'd be more trusted, but because they'd be able to understand more. Sam pretended he didn't care, but the questions were constantly buzzing under his skull like a pack of angry bees. Castiel could feel them, but had no way to calm them down. Dean sometimes asked, simply and out loud, and Castiel just didn't have answers the human could understand.

There were nine choirs of angels. These days most humans really remembered two: archangels and angels. Castiel told Dean he was an angel, because there was no time to explain and then correct the way his choir was viewed these days. He was not aware how much harder it'll make explaining anything after that.

Uriel was named a 'specialist'. It was the only compromise Uriel seemed able to accept. It didn't raise his opinion of humans, when Castiel explained they don't know or understand enough to be told that Uriel was one of the Powers.

Anna either learned how humans were limited while being one or she just played along with Castiel's explanation. She didn't tell the Winchesters that she was a Virtue, just that she was Castiel's and Uriel's boss, which loosely translated into human speech could be in fact true. Their garrison was made to serve humans after all and she was an expert on how to enlighten them.

Zachariah didn't bother explaining anything. It was not his duty. He was there only to keep the angels in check. He was a Dominion after all.

The angel protecting Chuck was in fact an Archangel. But since the Winchester brothers did not understand the place of the Archangels, they didn't really understand what that meant. And apparently all the angels decided to not explain it to humans ever again.

"He's a devil, but he's also a Seraph, Dean! Don't you think he can figure out a way to find us?!"

"A Seraph? Fuck, I feel like that chick in Dogma."

"Dean!"

"What?! It's not like I understand everything you and your new angel-boyfriend babble about!"

"Well, perhaps, you should ask your angel-boyfriend to explain it to you then!"

Sam smacks the door behind him and Dean glares at them angrily. He's also worried, because as much as he tries to trust his brother there's always a small part of his mind that wonders every time Sam walks out on him: Will he be back this time?

Castiel waits until Dean goes to bed a few hours later, trying to avoid the confrontation, when Dean would just like to take his anger out on someone. He sits behind Dean's curled form and pets his hair, knowing Dean is not asleep. Only stubborn.

"There are nine choirs of angels," he starts. He wonders if he made a mistake by not starting with something like this, but he feels as if now it made more sense. Now there's a possibility Dean may actually listen to him. He speaks slowly, calmly, patiently. Dean knows close to nothing about Heaven, but Castiel doesn't mind teaching him. "The lowest rank is closest to human, the highest is closest to God."

"Who's closest to human?" mumbles Dean, still partly pretending he doesn’t care.

Castiel smiles. Usually everyone starts with what's closest to God, but Dean always more cared about his own kind.

"Angels. They accompany humanity and observe it. You sometimes call them Guardian Angels."

"So there are guardian angels after all!"

"Yes. A few of them. Many have fallen or died. Higher are Archangels. They carry God's most important messages and they command His armies."

"So low on your scale?"

"They're very powerful, the scale is not about that. They're just far away from God."

"Protecting a prophet is part of passing the message deal, right? Damn, if it doesn't make Chuck sound like an important phone line or something."

"I believe that may be one of the reasons why he's not being told that. Next ones are Principalities, angels of nations and rulers and guides against the invasion of hell. Most of them got killed upon the opening of the gates of hell by escaping demons." Castiel notes Dean keeps silent upon hearing that, so he just continues not wanting to add to Dean's feelings of guilt. "The next one is Uriel's choir. He was one of the Powers; the angels of birth and death that are supposed to keep the Universe in balance and prevent the fallen angels from taking over the world."

"Great job he did there."

"He witnessed the greatness of his opponents and weakness of his comrades. I count him as a victim of this war," said Castiel shortly. "Next one is the choir of Virtues; the Angels of Grace who bring God's blessings to Earth, usually in the form of miracles."

"Not much of those walking around, huh?"

"Not close enough, I'm afraid. Most of them got too close, like Anna." He said and quickly changed the subject. "Next choir is a choir of Dominions..."

"Kinky."

Castiel ignored him.

"Angels that are supposed to regulate the duties of other angels and ensure that God's wishes are carried out. Zachariah is one of them. I believe the power corrupted him."

"Nobody's born an evil dick?"

"God would not give the power to 'an evil dick'." Dean snorted and Castiel smiled slightly, but kept his voice impassive as he continued. "Thrones have the duty of carrying out God's decisions. I have not seen one in ages."

"Perhaps it's a proof there's no God anymore?"

"Perhaps it's a proof He had some kind of a plan and ordered them to stay unseen." Dean sighed, but didn't pick up the fight. Instead he moved his head, urging Castiel's hand to keep on petting his hair. The angel obliged him. "The second closest to God choir are Cherubins."

"Fat little kids with gold curls?"

"No. The choir of angels that holds God's throne and love God more than anyone else. They're the only ones that could feel the whole of God's love and reflect it, and not be burned to dust."

"They're like God's blondes? Stupid, but loveable?"

"They're very powerful."

"Powerful blondes! Pretty and kickass! I like."

Castiel took a deep breath, by now recognising signs of Dean just trying to get some reaction out of him. Instead he continued.

"The closest to God are Seraphim. It's told they're the only ones that can understood His reasoning and His plans. They're constantly singing praises in His name and they bathe in the light of His grace. They're the only ones that have ever seen him," he finished quietly.

"And Lucifer is one of them?"

"Yes."

Castiel shuddered and gave in to the urge that was not supposed to be in his body. He laid down behind Dean and held him close, enjoying his warmth and the feel of his heart beating. Alive, warm, safe. It seemed to give Castiel a comfort he had long forgotten.

"And you're my Guardian Angel?"

"No, Dean." He sighed somehow disappointed.

"Oh. Sorry, I just thought... I mean, you hang around all the time and you kind of like me."

"Liking is not necessary for a Guardian Angel. They guard, not like."

"Oh. Well, too bad."

"I'm a Cherubin. I was given to you and I was made to love."

"It's much less dirty than it sounds, isn't it?"

Castiel sighed and made a small move to put some distance between him and Dean. Winchester caught his hand though and pulled him back closer, making their embrace tighter.

"I'm glad you're a Cherubin, Cas. And I'm glad you're mine."

Castiel smiled happily, pressing his lips against Dean's neck. He knew Dean could learn and understand everything he wanted to teach him.

"I'm also real glad you're not a fat kid with golden curls."


End file.
